We honestly wouldn’t know what to do without our best friends. Whether you grew up in the colorful and slightly chaotic ’90s or are navigating friendships in today’s digital world, having a BFF has always meant having someone who knows your secrets, supports you through heartbreak, and somehow manages to make even the most boring days fun.

Of course, the friendship itself may not have changed that much, but the way we communicate, hang out, argue, make up, and show our appreciation definitely has. From handwritten notes and friendship bracelets to Instagram posts and endless emojis, here are 11 ways BFF relationships have changed from the ’90s versus today.

1. The Fights We Get Into

In the ’90s: Your BFF promised she would take care of your beloved digital pet while you were away on vacation. Then you came home to discover that she had somehow let it die. That was serious business. You weren’t sure you could ever look at her the same way again.

Today: Adult BFFs have supposedly evolved beyond dramatic fights. Instead of arguing face-to-face, we might leave a suspiciously passive-aggressive comment on Facebook, ignore a message for six hours, or suddenly stop liking each other’s Instagram posts. The silent treatment has simply gone digital.

2. How We Make Up Afterward

In the ’90s: This was the glorious pre-smartphone era. Making up with your BFF usually meant passing a carefully written note in class. It probably included several sad faces, hearts over the i’s, and a dramatic message explaining just how terrible life had become without her. Of course, the note had to end with “LYLAS” — “love you like a sis.”

Today: The peace offering is a little more modern. It might involve buying your BFF a $12 coffee, sending a funny meme, and taking a smiling selfie together as proof that the argument is officially over. Bonus points if the selfie gets posted immediately.

3. Friday Night Entertainment

In the ’90s: Friday night meant heading to the mall with your BFF, buying ridiculous accessories, trying on fake nose rings at Claire’s, and maybe attempting to sneak into an R-rated movie. It felt rebellious, exciting, and completely unforgettable.

Today: After a long week, going out can feel like a lot of work. Sometimes the perfect Friday night is simply staying home with your BFF, ordering food, opening a bottle of wine, and finding something addictive to binge-watch on Netflix. Why leave the house when your couch is right there?

4. Playing Wingwoman

In the ’90s: Your BFF was basically your personal dating strategist. After using something as scientific as a cootie catcher to decide who your future soulmate might be, you would arrange a perfectly planned “accidental” run-in during science class. Meanwhile, your BFF would make sure nobody else got in the way.

Today: Playing wingwoman requires considerably more technology. Your BFF may spend hours searching Facebook, Instagram, or other social media platforms trying to identify your crush using nothing more than his first name, workplace, and the fact that he once attended your friend’s cousin’s birthday party.

5. Squad Goals

In the ’90s: Friendship goals meant finding a group of equally cool girls so you could pretend you were the Spice Girls. Everyone needed a role, a personality, and probably a nickname.

Today: The definition of a squad has become much smaller. You might only need one person to do the “Single Ladies” dance with you. And honestly, when you’re not exactly a people person anymore, having one amazing BFF can feel like more than enough.

6. Things We Gossip About

In the ’90s: Gossip was usually about something extremely important, like your biggest enemy wearing the exact same scrunchie as you, stealing your slap bracelet, or giving everyone Warheads at lunch except you. These were the kinds of events that could dominate an entire school day.

Today: The topics have become a little more complicated. Whether it’s a new TV show, celebrity drama, social media controversy, or the latest episode of a favorite series, there is always something to discuss. Back then, the drama happened at school. Today, it follows us everywhere through our phones.

7. Helping Each Other Through Heartbreak

In the ’90s: Nobody knew how to help you recover from a breakup quite like your BFF. She might show up at school with an extra Cosmic Brownie, listen to you complain for hours, and remind you that your ex was definitely not good enough for you anyway.

Today: Heartbreak recovery has become a full wellness experience. There might be yoga, manicures, pedicures, comfort food, cheap wine, and eventually a girls’ night out. If someone tries to hit on you at the bar before you’re ready, your BFF will happily step in and make sure they get the message.

8. How We Stay In Touch

In the ’90s: If you wanted to see your BFF, you actually had to go to her house and ring the doorbell. Sometimes you called the landline, only to have her dad answer the phone. Then came that painfully awkward moment when you had to explain who you were and ask to speak to your friend.

Today: Communication is instant and sometimes almost completely wordless. A BFF conversation can consist of a dozen memes, random TikToks, GIFs, and emojis. Somehow, you can have an entire conversation without typing a single complete sentence.

9. Things We Get In Trouble For

In the ’90s: Getting into trouble was usually pretty harmless. Ding-dong ditch, toilet-papering a neighbor’s house, or putting a whoopee cushion under the music teacher’s chair could feel like the ultimate act of rebellion.

Today: Adult trouble is usually much less exciting. If your BFF is also your work bestie, you might find yourselves getting caught being late to work because you decided an “essential” Starbucks trip needed to happen first. Somehow, coffee always seems like a reasonable excuse.

10. Sticking Up For Each Other To The Haters

In the ’90s: When something went wrong on the playground, your strategy was simple: run home and tell Mom or Dad. Having your BFF by your side still made you feel like you could take on the world, even if an adult eventually had to handle the actual problem.

Today: Things are usually a little less confrontational. Instead of directly confronting the haters, you might simply have an amazing night out with your BFF and post a whole collection of fabulous pictures afterward. The message is clear: you’re having fun, you’re happy, and they definitely weren’t invited.

11. How You Show Off Your Unbreakable Bond

In the ’90s: Nothing said “we are BFFs forever” quite like a homemade friendship bracelet. You could spend hours choosing colors, tying knots, and making something that you were absolutely convinced you would wear forever.

Today: Friendship bracelets still exist, but some BFFs take the commitment a little further with matching tattoos. If permanent ink feels like too much, there are always matching necklaces, bracelets, phone cases, outfits, or countless photos together. The point is still the same: you want everyone to know that this friendship is special.

The More Things Change, The More BFFs Stay The Same

Friendship may look very different now compared with the ’90s, but the most important part hasn’t really changed. Your BFF is still the person you call when something amazing happens, the person who listens when everything goes wrong, and the person who can make you laugh when you desperately need it.

The technology, trends, slang, and ways we hang out may continue to change, but having someone who truly has your back never goes out of style. Whether your friendship started with friendship bracelets in the ’90s or began with a random social media message years later, a great BFF is still a great BFF.

Note: All images used in this article are AI-generated and intended for illustrative purposes only.